Frequently Asked Questions

Frequently Asked Questions

What is LGBTBBQ activism?

Us, LGBTBBQ activists, keep it simple - it’s all about the acronym: Listen Girls Boys… This BBQ…. ain't no joke. We use the acronym for a creative and catchy way to memorize our core message.

We warn people that BBQs are a serious thing and can cause potential harm by getting one to go crazy for hotdogs to such a degree that they think their fingers are hotdogs to be cut off and cooked. 

Fingers are not hotdogs and should not be cut off - this, at core, is what we believe.

How can we help LGBTBBQ activism?

Buy a sticker. Spread the word. Stick em on your laptop, fridge, car, or even just somewhere in your garage. Talk to your friends and family about the dangerous trend of people eating their fingers.

What’s the hardest part of being an LGBTBBQ activist?

The chaos of dealing with the insatiable thirst some have for eating their own fingers. Here is a recent example:

You’re showing a recovering guy how to cook hot dogs instead of cutting off his fingers. You’re trying to explain that frying a regular store brought hotdog is the way to go and you’re demonstrating to them by the grill - showing them the ropes so to speak.

The thought of “Another good ol' day on the bbq…” passes your mind until of all a sudden you realize you forgot to hide the scissors again as the guy is franticly running around the backyard trying to cut off his fingers while screaming “yummy yummy fingers!”.

You feel your heart sink and a deep sigh leave your chest as the guy is now in an another finger eating relapse…. Luckily those were kid safe scissors.

It’s at these moments that I am ever grateful for my fellow LGBTBBQ activists. The love and care they show me over times gives me the energy to keep going and take those scissors away and save the guy from self harm.

 

What if I am a closet LGBTBBQ supporter?

We get it. Things are rough out there. One peep out of your mouth saying “hey guys… maybe cutting off your fingers isn’t the best idea” and next thing you know you are fired from your job and are now a hobo bumming cigarettes on the street to keep yourself from freezing.

Stay tuned as we plan to create discreet LGBTBBQ stickers so that way you can secretly support and if anyone starts bugging you just say “some kid on the street gave me this sticker….please don’t fire me massa’ as I’m a debt slave 'n have a thirty year mortgage to pay!”. 

If you aren’t ready to come out of the closet and openly join the LGBTBBQ community - we get it - we will be here to welcome you when you are! You can always buy a sticker in advance and save it till you are ready to come out.

If I cannot cut off my fingers, how else am I supposed to get sausages for my BBQ?

You can go to your nearest grocery and buy hot dogs there. Real simple!

I was told by one that if I cut off my fingers I can become a pirate - like Captain Hook. Why are you preventing me from becoming a pirate?

That person told you a lie. You will not become a pirate. Instead you will become a life long big Pharma-corp customer - dealing with the fall out of cut off fingers and buying pills to keep the pharmaceutical company employees’ bellies full and retirement benefits growing. Furthermore, tasks like writing, driving or giving high fives won’t be as fun anymore. Instead of all that nonsense - just buy a sticker from us!

Are you a BBQ-a-phobe?

No. I have no fear of BBQs - silly question. I love BBQs - especially in the summer. I’m more of a “hey you bbq Im watching you… so you don’t fry up anymore fingers” than a “mommy mommy help me - Im scared of a BBQ”.

Furthermore, I love those that cut their fingers off and eat them on the BBQ. I wish they didn't do such nonsense though!

Is this an allegory?

I do not know what that word means. Sorry.

A doctor told me to cut off my fingers and BBQ them. He has a plaque on his office wall with a big boy degree. You don’t. Why should I listen to you?

I get it. I also used to always be hypnotized by any man wearing a white lab coat with a stethoscope hanging off his shoulder. His word was my command. He says “jump” and I say “how high?”. However, I have learned that overtime doctors can make mistakes or be motivated by fear, groupthink and love of money. Here is one such example:

- “How a Drugmaker Bribed Doctors and Helped Fuel the Opioid Epidemic”

There are many examples out there of medical malpractice and corruption but it can be annoying to dig through - just picture times in your own life when your were greedy, afraid to speak up, wanted approval and fame from the crowd  or just straight up zealous about a subject you didn’t know much about … now picture yourself at that time wearing a white lab coat and stethoscope… now you understand how a doctor could be telling you something that’s false.

At the end of the day… it’s your choice if you BBQ your fingers, but first study the motivations of those telling you to do so.

If I don’t cut off my fingers and BBQ them, how will I get to wave a colourful flag or be brave and beautiful?

This is a strange and odd question. Not sure I follow. You can still be brave and beautiful without cutting off your fingers. With respect to the flag… you can buy one of my stickers instead which is also very colourful! It has all colours of the rainbow which means it is aesthetically attractive to all age groups - especially children - we get them with the messaging when they are young and easily impressionable! Some call this subversive…. I just call them a bigot really loudly and in front of everyone until they get infected with social shame and run away in fear!

If I do cut off my fingers and BBQ them - will you be angry at me?

No. I have fallen for a Nigerian prince scam or two myself so I get how one can fall for these sorts of things. Life’s complicated and there is a lot of confusing traps out there especially with the recent explosion in media, technology and information.  Once you discovered you were trapped, just get past it and move on! Just don’t cut off your remaining fingers and don’t tell other people that it is good thing to do.

Isn’t playing around with acronyms, stickers and flags, and then beating people over the head with them over and over again silly?

Maybe you are right. Sorry.

Is this issue of confusing certain body parts for hot dog wieners just limited to fingers?

No.

What is your end goal of your activism?

Until my stickers are stuck on the forehead of every worker, on every door entrance of every building, in all children’s education material then I can get no rest. Just think about it: how is one to function in society and be productive if on their mind they aren’t constantly reminded about the LGBTBBQ at all times - we must help them achieve this state - the pure zen state of LGBTBBQ-effication.